SomewhatDamaged.net

The kids listen closely to Santa walking on the roof and then watch him fall off and land on a truck.

This guy grabs his camera and takes it on what has got to be the scariest fucking hiking trail in the world.

Cool compilation video of different close calls and luck encounters.

Not like anyone couldn’t have seen this coming…

Consider this your Christmas present!

Right of the bat, my first reaction was to be marginally impressed at the President’s reflexes. Bush has taken a lot of stick for being a terrible president, which is probably fair, given his generally high levels of terribleness. But did you see the speed of that duck? That was Mortal Kombat fast. I half expected to see a harpoon come flying out of his coat sleeve after the first shoe sailed past.

By: Svetlana Petrovskaya

I am exasperated! I have about had enough of listening to my female friends going on and on about these morons that they are dating and how they just can’t let go. I mean, what the fuck is so wrong with you that you are willing to change how you dress, think, and act in order to keep some controlling, insecure idiot!? Don’t get me wrong, this Czarina has been in oppressive ridiculous relationships before where I have lost my sense of self and been resorted to a sniveling idiot. However, at some point I have woken up! Not only have I woken up but I have keyed a car as revenge. (I am not endorsing such behavior but I understand the feeling of psychotic. Be afraid, boys… I am dangerous.)

There is one thing that gets on my ever last nerve. You know what that is? It’s the bottom line dishonesty that seems to go BOTH ways in the dating game. I mean, why?! Is it so fucking difficult for all of you Pinocchio’s to return from donkey ass land and behave like decent human beings? It starts with something as innocent as giving out the wrong number to a guy at a bar. I mean, why not say: ‘Dude, I am not really interested in speaking to you beyond this bar. But thanks for asking.’ Oh yeah, because that is scary and means you actually have to have a spine! PUSSIES! No, I am not talking about what we have all done. I am guilty of having given the wrong number to that creepy, stalker guy who doesn’t get a hint even when I slap him across the face and call him a piece of shit. But, those are generally the jerks that will call the phone number in front of you and get all pissed off when it isn’t the right one! I mean, like I want you to call me if you are SO crazy that you will call the number right then and there to make sure it is correct? CHECK PLEASE!

The aforementioned is the same behavior that causes rabbits to be boiled and tires to be slashed! Why? Because it leads to the same game of making up lies as to why you don’t want to talk to someone again. So, you have a bad date? So the guy is a total douche or the chick needs to be on meds because she appears to have a diagnosis of a Borderline Personality? Okay, I get it.. I have dated the narcissist and hoped for the DSM IV to shell out pills to contain the mania! But why not give that person the courtesy of telling them WHY you don’t want to see them again? Generally, I will tell the person, ‘Dood, you are really cheap and acted like a moron on our date. I mean, did you really think it was going to get me to WANT to date you when you forced me to pay for gas?’ Sure they get pissed off! However, I guarantee they learned a lesson that may possibly help the next victim.

None of this behavior is really as bad as the following. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS STUCK THEIR DICK IN SOMEONE ELSE? Do you think your girlfriend landed on her back, her panties fell off and she spread her thighs accidently and didn’t mean it when the cock landed inside her pussy? I am going to say this once, loud and clear, for all of you slower types out there to digest and hopefully understand. CHEATING IS A CHARACTER FLAW! One of the top 10 character flaws is dishonesty. There is no greater dishonesty than to consistently and knowingly deceive a person you allegedly love or care for. It is the lowest of the low. I am not going to sit here and pretend I have never been the other woman. I have and it was a huge mistake. But, the worst part about the act I was assisting the piglet to commit was watching him justify his own actions. Sitting by and joining in while we both swallowed the poison of deceit. Sugar coat it all you want, you are a scum bag. May your cock grow cauliflower type bumps on it and fall off! Okay, that was way harsh….or was it?

Character flaws are pathological. Maybe you minions that are staying with these cheating sex addicts need to take a look at your own desperation and lack of self esteem. I strongly suggest you get into some form of a therapy session before I see you on my newest addiction, Snapped on Oxygen.( Oh shut up, you know you all get into watching women lose it and kill their husbands with an ax!) Seriously, you will suddenly find yourself so crazed, miserable and lost that your conscious will have been eaten by the maggots inside your brain! RUN NOW! Find someone who cares about you enough to grant you the decency of honesty! I seriously can’t take it! I do not have any openings for individual therapy sessions and to be honest, there are far too many of you to help anyway! You do not need someone THAT badly that you lose your own self worth.

So, on a final note….. Since we have now decided to elect someone who has no understanding about the idea of personal responsibility I believe we need to try harder! (Yeah, I am still waiting for Obama to ‘pay for my gas’….)You are not a product of your environment if you choose not to be. I understand, maybe your Uncle/Aunt molested you or your Daddy beat you with a stick. That sucks and is god awful. However, you are an adult now and can take control over your own life. DO IT DAMN YOU! Leave the pigs! Tell the guy at the bar you don’t want his weird ass to have your number! Let the broad know that she may have a serious mental disorder and she scares you so you will no longer be seeing her! I urge everyone to try something new! Let’s have a revolution of honesty!! VIVA HONESTY! Until next time… Poka!

Admittedly, I bought into the whole Shamwow thing and bought some myself. Here’s a great spoof I stumbled across on YouTube. Granted it’s terribly low budget, but still hilarious!

This sort of thing is impossible to see coming, so falling for it is no surprise. But twice? WTF?!?

Listen up, heroes–why does this little version of O’Reilly seem more intimidating than the real thing?